


Everything You Knew

by winniethewubbzy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Coping, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:05:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winniethewubbzy/pseuds/winniethewubbzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You knew he was the same person. You knew you weren't the Real Dave. You knew that he would never love you because of that. You knew all of this and so much more, but you still couldn't help imagining the what-if.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Knew

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'm sorry.  
> Second of all, feedback would be great and totally appreciated.  
> Third of all, I know this isn't great writing, (maybe one day I'll take more than 30 minutes on this piece) but I was kind of focusing on getting the idea understood and out there rather than making it a true literary wonder. If i ever get to that place in my writing then I promise to redo this and make it all pretty, if not for you then for me.  
> Fourth of all, I'm really really sorry.

You were stuck with him on a ship for three long years. For three years he and his ectobiological sister were your only company. You suppose that you should have been over the moon because who did you have to compete with on a ship?  
Certainly not the Real Dave.  
But despite being close-enough-to-alone with him, you only felt tortured. You were Davesprite. Dave from another timeline but still totally not the real Dave. You knew that; who didn’t? Just because you know what you are and what others think you are, doesn’t mean you have to feel like second best all of the time. And you didn’t.

…

You thought you were over it. Over all the derpy grins and giggles and weird worship of Nic Cage. When you saw this alpha timeline John for the first time after seeing the John from your timeline die you thought it was closure. You thought you could move on for real instead of just telling yourself that you did. That was the exact opposite of what happened. It turned out you were the exact opposite of “over it”. When you saw John in this timeline you only felt everything come back to you all at once. He was the same John, just alive by a different Dave’s actions.  
You still loved him. And there he was alive and in front of you for the first time in forever. You had the chance to do everything you wanted to do with him and say everything you wanted to say, 3 years to do it, and best of all, no one to compete with. The ship was your oyster.

Well, it should’ve been.

As it turned out, you were always competing with someone. Yourself, of all people. It was something you always knew actually. Every time you looked in the mirror and you saw the orange skin or feathers or lack of feet you were reminded of the fact that you were always competing with this timeline’s Dave, and you were always losing. To everyone else, including John, you were just a Dave alternate.

Jade was a great distraction at first. She was really cool and sometimes she even managed to make you forget about the doofus with kissable lips. Sometimes.

You wanted to love her. She was always honest with how she felt about you and what you were to her and it was amazing how she could make you feel so at peace sometimes. It just… wasn’t as amazing when you always wished her words came out of someone else’s mouth and it was just downright depressing when you knew they never would.  
You knew John was unattainable emotionally but at the same time you knew that you didn’t mean nothing to him, even when your subconscious was always screaming it in your ear.  
John made everything better in that way though. When you were with him he made you feel like you were special to him, like he was to you. Even if he did act like you were the worst person ever sometimes, he would always look at you after and smile as if to say ‘Just kidding, I really love you.’ To say the least, he did make you feel loved.  
But he didn’t feel like that. He didn’t love you or differentiate you like Jade did. Not really. To him you were still just another Dave. Not the real one because you two were from different timelines. Not the real one because you were orange and had feathers. God, who cared if this kid even swung that way because even if he did there’s no doubt in your mind he’d only be interested in Real Dave. The Dave who could save him when you couldn’t. John Egbert would never want you because you were just a copy and were just a copy and you weren’t someone worth wanting and you knew it.

But even your knowledge of all of these facts didn’t stop you from imagining a world where the goofy boy in blue glasses and pajamas took your face in his hands and said the words you have always wanted to hear from him.  
.

.

.

_“You will always be my Dave…” ___


End file.
